Dead Rising
by FatalFuryX
Summary: You can run...
1. So It Begins

I do not own Evangelion.

Thanks go to Gunman for proofreading this chapter.

* * *

_-- So It Begins --_

The door rattled fiercely threatening to break down any minute. The dull roar of moans blanketed the night air shattered only by the occasional blood curdling shriek.

The moon cast an eerie glow over the blood stained streets and the night air washed the scent of death through an open window.

A young boy cowered in the middle of the room; his rough breathing resonated throughout the room.

The door splintered and a hand thrust through its flimsy frame, waving around grasping for its prey. He crawled further into the corner and pressed his back against the wall.

His hand shook as he switched the safety off on his handgun. Sweat rolled down his forehead and stung his eyes but he kept his trembling hands level to his eyes. The arm retreated from the door and the room was greeted by a terrifying silence.

Seconds passed by, but they seemed like lifetimes.

The boy let out a breath and leaned his head against the wall letting his eyes drift upwards.

"Unfamiliar ceiling."

The door exploded into a shower of splinters as a legless body flung into the room. Blood sprayed from the intruder's waist but he seemed unaffected. Through several rips in his clothes, rotting flesh could be seen. Its face was damaged beyond recognition, large sections of skin no longer remained.

The assailant slowly turned his head towards the boy and the gruesome sound of cracking resounded off the walls. Part of his head was missing and his brain leaked out of the crevice, jiggling every time he moved. His pure white eyes pierced the darkness and burned holes into the trembling boy's soul.

The being opened his mouth, and roared into the night. Using his arms, he pulled himself closer to the boy, leaving a trail of blood behind him.

"G... Get away!" The teenager yelled in futility.

He pointed the gun in his hand at the monsters face and grimaced when it snarled once again. His hand shook; fear enveloping his senses.

Ready.

Aim.

Fire!

His eyes clenched shut as the gun flashed and bounced in his hands. Dark blood splashed over his face and body. Dread filled his soul as he slowly opened his eyes.

_My god…_

His hands were stained with blood and the limp body of his attacker lay just inches ahead of him. Blood seeped from a hole in its head.

His vision began to blur and he felt a lump in his throat. His gun dropped from his hands and clanged on the floor. He pulled his legs into his chest and buried his face in them.

Sobs echoed through the room, drowning out the terrified screaming of a woman in the distance. A car screeched in the distance, followed by an explosion, but he did not stop crying. He could not stop.

_Are you just going to sit there?_

"What? Who is that?" He shouted, terrified at the sudden voice.

_Me? I am… _

"Well?"

_That does not matter. What does matter is that you are sitting in a corner while everyone you know is dying!_

Images of his mock family members played through his mind. Memories from before this nightmare entered his thoughts.

_Walking to school with your friends, fighting with Asuka, and piloting your Evangelion – they are all moments you took for granted when you should have been enjoying them to the fullest!_

"…"

_You don't have time to cry. You have people to save! You have memories to make!_ Your_ friends need you! Your family needs you!_

"I…What can I do? I'm just a weakling with no spine…"

_Hah! You? A weakling! No matter what anyone says, YOU are the one who killed the most angels! You are the one, the only! The Legendary Shinji Ikari!_

The edges of his lips slowly turned upwards, shadows playing on his face from the dim light of the moon.

_You don't have time to cry!_

He opened my eyes.

_Get up, Shinji Ikari!_

He raised his head.

_Go! And save those you love!_

He pulled himself onto his feet.

_Go, Shinji Ikari!_

He scooped the gun into his hands and shoved the ammunition into his pockets.

_And save yourself!_

With a scream Shinji barrelled through the apartment door, down the stairs, and out onto the pavement.

Scanning his surroundings, he discovered a single car in the parking lot. Its door was open and an arm was slung over the side. He ran to it and pulled the dead body out of the car. He jumped in and noticed the keys were already in the ignition.

_The dead guy must have been trying to start the car._ Shinji looked at the body that now lay next to the car's wheels. The stench indicated that he was already starting to decay and part of his stomach was ripped away. His intestines hung out of the wound and dried blood covered his clothes but the most disturbing and frightening was his face. The same face that would gleam with happiness while strumming the air guitar was now contorted in agony. Shinji looked away instantly, holding in the urge to regurgitate.

He closed his eyes, trying to get the image, and scent, out of his mind. A gust of wind blew in from the side and a new wave of death attacked his senses. No longer able to hold it in, he puked on the street, careful to avoid the body beneath him. Shinji wiped his mouth on his sleeve and once again focused on the task at hand. He reached for the key, grasped its cool surface, and gave it a twist.

The engine sputtered and proclaimed its presence to the night. Its call was returned by a soft moaning. Shinji snapped his head towards the noise behind him, and then back towards the key. Once again, he twisted the key but was greeted with the same response. The moans were much louder than before.

"Damn it! Work!" Shinji shouted, punching the dashboard in an effort to force the car to work.

He turned the key once again and let out a sigh of relief when the engine purred to life.

Shinji screamed in fright as a bloody face smashed into his side window. Summoning all the knowledge from his terrifying driving lessons from Misato, He quickly put the car into reverse, stomped on the acceleration, and grimaced as the car rocketed backwards, leaving a trail of skid marks. The car bounced as it rammed into the bodies in its path.

Turning the steering wheel, he managed to rotate the car one hundred and eighty degrees to point at the oncoming horde of undead. Once again Shinji smashed his foot on the accelerator. The roar of the engine accompanied his screaming.

"**Go Back To Where You Came From You God Damned Zombies!"**

* * *

-- Flashback -- 

"I repeat! A warning has been issued to all of Tokyo to stay indoors and lock all doors and windows! Any citizens unable to access their homes are advised to head directly to the closest shelter and avoid crowded roads." A blonde, female reporter yelled into the screen. Her eyes darted from side to side and terror etched her face.

Shinji stood on the deserted street with a bag of groceries in his hand and watched the scene unfold on a gigantic screen plastered on a skyscraper.

He had gone to his favourite sightseeing location after picking up some groceries and spent a good hour watching the city. After hearing the sirens go off he had rushed towards the city thinking that there was another Angel attack.

_What's going on? I thought I had already defeated the last Angel!_ Shinji contemplated the matter as the reporter announced that she had received footage from within Tokyo-3 regarding the crisis at hand.

The screen went from the women's frightened face to a seemingly normal view of a Tokyo street. The only thing dissimilar was that the crowd of pedestrians seemed to be jerking uncontrollably. The crowd crawled on top of one another, heading towards the screen.

Shinji watched in horror as a girl from his class – Aiko he believed - burst through the crowd. A chunk of flesh was missing from her arm and her screams boomed through the televisions speakers.

Just as she began to escape the mob, hands wrapped around her torso and pulled her back in. The screaming died down to a load gurgling noise and then stopped entirely.

Shinji stared in horror, his mouth hanging open, and the bag in his hands fell to the floor spilling its contents on the pavement. The screen returned to the terrified reporter. She grabbed her headset and through it to the side, jumping on the table in the process.

"Run for your lives! Tokyo-3 has been overrun by the undead!" She screamed through the television.

Shinji instantly burst in a sprint down the street, forgetting the spilled groceries he left behind. Previously unheard screams now resonated in his skull, moans bellowed throughout the streets. His heart pounded in his chest as he leapt through traffic lights, heading towards his home.

After a few minutes of his panicked dash, he heard footsteps fall into pace behind him and began to run even faster, not daring to look back. With a Herculean effort, Shinji dashed through the crossing onto his apartment's parking lot.

He took a chance glimpse behind him and instantly prayed that he hadn't. Behind him, a zombie was slowly catching up, hunger in its bloodshot eyes. He was bleeding profusely through a crack in his head, and blood coated his body.

With a yelp, Shinji jumped up the stairs, three at a time and crashed through his door, thanking the gods it was unlocked. He smashed the door shut and locked it with trembling hands.

Glancing over the apartment, Shinji noticed that it was barren, without a soul in sight.

_No! Asuka! Misato! Penpen! W..What happened to you! Please be alive! Please!_

Shinji fell to his knees and smashed his fist against the ground.

_Damn it! When did this happen? No… How did this happen? What am I going to do now! _

Shinji cursed at the empty apartment and rushed into his room. He threw furniture around, searching for any weapon that could be of use.

"Wait a second… Just how do I kill something that's already dead?" Shinji thrust his head into his hands in frustration.

_Maybe the news has information on how to stop these monsters. _

Shinji walked past the door and instantly jumped up in fright as it began to shake. He grabbed a chair and placed it in front of the door, barricading any entry, or escape.

Resuming his previous task, Shinji strolled towards the couch, attempting to recuperate from the shock of previous events. He fell into the couch's embrace and grabbed the remote. Shinji turned the television on and switched to Tokyo News.

The reporter now seemed calmer, yet still incredibly frightened. Her hair was a mess and her ruined mascara proved she had been previously crying.

"I'm sorry for my recent… Outburst. But as you can see, Tokyo is certainly in a serious crisis. The streets are slowly becoming infested with the living dead and all attempts to stop them so far have failed. The Tokyo borders have been barricaded by the JSSDF and no one is allowed to enter, or leave the premises."

The reporter sniffed and wiped her eyes.

_What? I can't believe it! Why aren't they using the Evangelions! What's going on?_

"To all those still alive in this god forsaken place, grab any weapon you can. The _only _way to kill one of the undead is to destroy the brain. The zombies seem to be infected with some sort of virus that travels through bodily fluid. So if you are bitten, swallow some of an infected hosts' blood, or if your wounds come in contact with its blood, then you have about twenty three hours until you become a zombie yourself."

The reporter herself looked shocked at the information she was giving out to the public. She sorted through a few more papers until she stopped at a slightly crumpled one. Flattening it out, she quickly skimmed over the information and looked at the screen with fear.

"It seems there is **no,** I repeat, **no** cure if you are infected. If you are infected and choose to… end your misery, you must destroy your brain to save yourself from reanimation. Other details are still pending, but I will keep you up to date on this channel for as long - - -" Sobs interrupted her speech as Shinji shut off the television and threw the remote to the floor. His head was in his hands and he was shaking it violently.

_God… Why do you do this to me? Why am I always the one to suffer…?_

A loud banging emitted from the door once again and moans erupted from behind his only fortification.

_I… I need something to protect myself! _

Shinji ran into the kitchen, searching for knives to use against his assailants. He raided the drawers, throwing out their contents but to no avail. It seemed as though nearly every possible weapon available in his small home had disappeared. Defeated, Shinji trudged towards the table; his head hung low, and slumped into a chair. Raising his head, he noticed a note in the middle of the table. Reaching over, he picked it up and placed it in front of him.

_Dear Shinji,_

_I know you must be afraid, but you have to be strong! For me, for Asuka! We have gone to NERV to help stop this crisis. I left you a present on my bed. Please use it wisely and be safe._

_Love,_

_Misato_

Shinji stared at the note, relieved that they were likely in the safety of the Geo Front. With a sigh, Shinji stood, and slowly paced towards his guardians room.

The floor was littered with beer cans, clothing, and other objects Shinji didn't even want to know the use for. Carefully stepping through the jungle of junk, he made his way towards Misato's bed. On her pillow, lay the glistening form of a Beretta, beckoning him to pick it up. His hands trembled as he reached for the deadly weapon. His hands flinched when they touched the guns cool surface. He clutched the weapons handle and brought it to his face.

The silence was interrupted by a shriek just outside his door. With a yelp, Shinji jumped in fear and landed on a banana peel. His feet flew forward and he fell onto his head.

The gun fell on the floor next to his face and he saw his reflection on its perfect surface, before darkness enveloped his senses.

* * *

Thanks for reading.

- Fatal Fury


	2. Meeting In The Dark

Thanks for the reviews!

This chapter was proofread by Gunman

-- Meeting In The Dark --

* * *

The car screeched as it skid around the corner, and was greeted with an orchestra; the deafening noise of groaning caused the car to vibrate. 

Shinji shifted to the next gear, and collided into the mass of bodies. Blood spilled over the windshield, body parts bounced off the window, but the never-ending onslaught continued. The car burst into a clearing, leaving the horrific scene of partially destroyed corpses crawling over one another in an orgy of rotting corpses - a pool of blood seeping onto the pavement and blanketing the road.

Shinji shut his eyes firmly, thrusting the image out of his mind. _Ugh… I think I'm going to puke… again._

He increased his grip on the steering wheel until his knuckles were white, and forced his eyes open. He was met with the sight of a brick wall speeding towards him. With a shout, Shinji stomped on the brake, and turned the steering wheel to the left.

The car skid on the rough pavement, smoke shooting from its tires. Shinji pushed himself into the side of the door; bracing himself for the inevitable impact of steel and stone.

Metal and glass flew into the air as the car smashed into the wall, side first. Shinji firmly shut his eyes and shielded his face with his hands. Shinji's ears popped as a sound equivalent to that of an explosion assaulted his senses.

A lone cloud slowly enveloped the full moon, throwing a dark shadow over the city. Fire crackled in the distance. An endless chorus of screams echoed throughout the night, complemented by the dull melody of moans. But the only thing Shinji heard – and felt - was the powerful rhythmic beating of his heart against his chest.

Thump

…

Thump

…

Thump

He carefully opened his eyes and glanced over his body. Nothing was twisted in an unnatural position and he did not feel any pain. Yet he was not satisfied; his previous fighting experiences reminded him that pain is never felt until later. Shinji unlocked his belt with a satisfying click and leant back into the seat. Taking a deep breath, he reached out towards the door handle. He pulled on it but received no response. He tried again. Once again, the door did not budge.

Shinji turned himself so that his feet faced the door. Using his hands as leverage, he brought his feet into his chest, and then thrust them towards the window. The glass crunched and popped out of the steel frame; then shattered as it fell on the hard pavement below. Shinji reached into his pocket and pulled out his pistol. He then carefully slid out of the new opening and fell to the floor.

He glanced at his surroundings. To his left, a few street lamps flickered on and off, illuminating the shape of a single corpse that lay on the pavement. The smouldering wreckage of his confiscated car was to his right and the entrance to a clothing store was directly behind him. No light escaped from the endless abyss of darkness straight ahead of him.

_Wow I really have it good don't I? I can either go into a clothing store full of corpse-like manikins or I can walk through a pitch black street. Yay…_

With a sigh, he made his decision. Swiftly turning on his heel, Shinji crept towards the clothing store. He reached the door and carefully pushed it open; grimacing as its creaks announcing his presence. He walked past the door and jumped when it closed behind him.

After calming his heartbeat, he took note of his surroundings. A lone light hung from the roof, casting jagged shadows on the walls and floor. He slowly tiptoed through the store - gun raised high and head jerking towards every shadow that made a slight movement.

Shinji made his way through an isle dedicated to shoes, past the washrooms, and into the clothing section. He strolled past the racks of clothes, which he could not see very well due to the poor lighting.

A sudden crash a few aisles away caught his attention and he threw himself against the wall. Inching his way towards the noise, Shinji carefully pulled his Berretta out of his belt and switched the safety off. He closed in on the location of the noise and readied the firearm. Sweat dripped down his forehead and his hands shook slightly.

_Don't run away… Don't run away… _Shinji recited the phrase to himself repeatedly as the shadow of a person danced on the floor in front of him.

He risked a glance around the corner, his heart pounding in his head. In front of him, a female manikin lay on the floor, headfirst. He relaxed, switch of the Berettas safety, and dropped his hand, letting a short laugh escape his lips.

A hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder and caused him to shout in horror. He leapt forward and spun around - frantically squeezing his finger on the trigger. Shinji gasped in horror as he realized he had forgotten to switch off the safety on the gun. He glanced at his attacker and gasped once again.

In front of him stood the familiar freckled face of his class representative, Hikari.

"Oh my god! Hikari! I… I almost shot you!" Shinji declared in horror while staring at his shaking hands.

Hikari, who was equally surprised at his outburst, attempted to comfort the frightened boy, "Its okay! Really! I shouldn't have scared you like that."

Shinji looked from his eyes to her face. Scratches marked parts of her face and dried blood stained her cheek. Her eyes were red and it seemed as though she had been crying recently. Her clothes were dirty and one of her socks were missing.

"Are you okay? What happened to your sock?"

Her face flushed slightly and she responded, "Um… Come with me I'll show you."

She turned around and briskly walked forward. Shinji stood for a moment, confused, and then quickly fell into step behind her. They made their way towards the men's clothing section and turned into one of the aisles.

"Where are we going?" Shinji questioned.

"We," Hikari paused for a moment, staring at her feet and Shinji thought he heard a sniffle. "Are going to Touji."

"Touji! He's here with you? That's great!"

Hikari responded by looking at him sadly then continuing onwards.

_What did I do? _Shinji questioned himself. He was certain that Hikari would be happy to return to Touji. Unlike Asuka's accusations, he wasn't as hard-headed as many people thought. He was quite aware of Hikari's infatuation with his best friend.

A dim light shone from around a corner and became brighter as they slowly paced towards it. Hikari glanced back at Shinji and beckoned him forward. As they neared their destination, Shinji heard a sharp intake of breath and a groan. Shinji picked up his pace as realization slowly dawned on him. A quick glance at Hikari's gloomy face confirmed his suspicions and he broke into a run.

He sped around the corner and instantly froze, gasping at the sight that greeted him. Touji lay on a pile of clothes, his face was contorted in pain and a wet cloth was placed on his forehead. A bucket of water sat next to his head. Blood soaked through a sock which was wrapped around his arm. A jacket was draped over his body but he still shivered slightly. Hikari appeared next to him, a look of sorrow on her face.

"W…When was he bitten?" Shinji questioned the brunette

"About eight hours ago. We met each other at the park and were chased through the city. One of them jumped on me and tried to eat me. Thankfully Touji pushed him off me but it bit his arm in the process. We kept running from them - the zombies. But there were too many! There were zombies everywhere! …Everywhere…" Tears trailed down her face as she sat down next to Touji and replaced the cloth on his forehead with one from the bucket. "We wanted to get to the shelter but we lost our way in the dark and ended up here. He's got a high fever and can't walk well. W.. What should we do?"

Hikari wiped her tears off on her sleeves and stared at Touji, then brought her gaze to Shinji, expecting him to give and answer.

_What? She expects me to know what do? Oh boy…_

"Uh… well I was heading towards NERV but then I sort of crashed into a wall…" Shinji answered the unspoken question in embarrassment.

"You were driving! With whose car? Oh! Don't tell me you stole it. That's very irresponsible of you!" Hikari reverted to her usual self and scolded him.

"Wait… NERV… that's a good idea! If there is any safe place left in this town it's bound to be NERV." Hikari commented.

"Yah, Asuka, Misato, and PenPen have already gone there." He informed the class rep.

"PenPen? Oh yah… the penguin."

"Warm-water pen--" An ear-splitting roar interrupted their conversation. They heard the door shatter and quickly jumped to their feet. A stampede of footsteps echoed through the store as Shinji pulled Touji to his feet, waking him in the process. He pulled Touji's arm over his shoulder and Hikari took the other.

"Quick! Let's go to the roof!" Hikari shouted to Shinji over the moans.

Touji began to mumble incoherent nonsense as they ran towards the stairs. His feet dragged along the floor and his head swayed back and forth. Shinji and Hikari sweat profusely from the exertion of carrying the muscular jock's weight on their shoulders. They burst through the stair door, causing the security alarm to go off.

_Damn it! All that's going to do is attract more zombies!_

Both children's thoughts were along the same lines as they scrambled up the stairs, panting heavily.

Touji had once again gone unconscious and his dead weight was becoming extremely difficult to drag up the stairs. Their legs strained from the effort, their arms began to numb, and their hearts pounded in their chests. With a final Herculean attempt, they thrust themselves through the door, slammed it closed – locking it in the process - and collapsed on the roof.

Shinji rolled onto his back and looked to his side. Hikari lay next to Touji, her head on his chest. Tears flowed freely from her eyes. He turned his face back upwards and stared at the sky. The full moon shone brightly in the cool night air.

_Wow… it looks so big from here…_

A dark cloud inched closer towards the moon, threatening to devour its power. Bit by bit, the cloud blocked out the moonlight, blanketing the city in darkness, and revealing a lone star that glimmered in the heavens. He shivered as a brisk wind washed over him. Closing his eyes, he let himself indulge in the moment, relaxing for the first time that day.

* * *

Shinji woke with a start and took a quick look at his surroundings. Hikari still lay next to Touji – head on his chest. Her head rose slightly ever so often, indicating that Touji was still breathing. 

Shinji then realised what he had woken up to. A symphony of moans were resonating from below him; the sheer force of the noise caused the roof to rumble slightly. Cautiously, he pressed his ear against the door.

_Hmmm… No noise… They must have stayed on the bottom floor. I wonder why?_

He backed away from the door and pulled himself to his feet. The roof was barren; completely empty except for the children on it.

He walked to its edge, placed his hands on the rusty railing, and gasped at the sight below him.

An army of undead massed outside the clothing store, guts and blood spilling into piles on the pavement. The alarm had long since turned itself off, but still attracted a monumental amount of zombies. A breeze blew through the night air, bringing him the horrible stench of death. He plugged his nose and returned to his spot on the roof, unable to stand the disgusting sight and smell.

Once again, he was greeted with the sight of the same star shining brightly in the sky. He sighed, exhausted. Shutting his eyes, he returned to the land of dreams.

_The young boy cried as he watched the dark figure fade into the night. His tears blend into the rain that pattered his face, as though the heavens were crying with the ill-fated child._

"_Daddy? Where are you going daddy?" The boy called into the night._

_There was no reply. His father had disappeared, leaving him to fend for himself in the unforgiving night. The boy clenched his hands into small fists and fell to the ground. With a shout, he beat the floor with his tiny hands. Blood seeped from the broken skin on his fingers but he did not stop. He would never stop. He__had caused his father to leave him because he was so useless. He had to punish himself._

'_What are you doing?' A voice asked him._

"_What do you mean what am I doing! I'm punishing myself! I'm so… so useless." He cried in between sobs._

'_Stop it.' The voice demanded._

"_No!" He shouted, increasing the strength of his punches._

'_Stop it.' It repeated._

"_N.. No!" His hands shook from the pain and a small puddle of blood stained the pavement._

'_**NOW!**__' The voice smashed into his ears like a punch, throwing him to the side._

_The boy stared at the sky, rain falling on his body._

"_Why me? Why am I always the one who gets hurt?"_

'_To prepare you.'_

"_Prepare me? From what?"_

'_You will see, in the future; but for now, pull yourself together. There are people who need you whether you know it or not.'_

_The boy smiled, and sat upright._

"_Promise?"_

'_I promise.'_

_He jumped to his feet and called out with joy._

"_So? Where do I go now?"_

'_Just… Walk."_

_The boy stared at the empty night in confusion. Shrugging, he strolled forward into the darkness._

* * *

A shout thrust Shinji back to reality and he leapt to his feet. The shout turned into crying. Looking at the origin of the sound, Shinji realised Hikari had woken up and was crying dramatically – a ray of moonlight that escaped the clouds deadly clutch surrounding her and the boy underneath her.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Shinji questioned.

"No! I'm not okay!" Hikari shouted in an abnormal display of venom.

"Why?"

"He's dead! Touji is dead!" She once again fell into a fit of sobs and pushed her head into his friend's chest.

Shinji stood, baffled at the realization. His face slowly turned from one of concern to one of absolute terror.

"N.. No.. He's not dead! He's just sleeping!" Shinji yelled in denial.

"He's dead! And there's nothing we can do about it!" Hikari responded in between sobs.

Shinji fell to his knees and grabbed his head with both hands.

_Touji… my first best friend… is dead? _Just the thought of it made his stomach queasy.

He looked at Touji's form and watched his chest. The rhythmic raising and lowered of it had stopped. His skin was pale, and his eyes were unfocused. Shinji's eyesight blurred and he closed his eyes firmly.

_Oh god! He's dead! He's dead!_

Tears flowed freely down his face and his body shook slightly.

Both children allowed their tears to pour onto the roof, and in response, the heavens began to cry as well. A mixture of tears and water pattered on the cement.

_It seems there is __**no,**__ I repeat, __**no**__ cure if you are infected. If you are infected and choose to… end your misery, you must destroy your brain to save yourself from __reanimation_

_Reanimation_

_REANIMATION_

_**REANIMATION**_

Shinji snapped his eyes open and slowly got on his feet. He walked towards his friend's corpse, sorrow filled his face.

_Reanimation_

Hikari looked up from Touji and into Shinji's eyes. Her eyes were puffy and red, tear streaks lined her face.

Shinji looked over at his friends face. It was peaceful. His lips turned into a small smile. Shinji remembered the horrific faces of the undead as they ripped the guts out of still living humans. He reached behind him and grasped the cool handle of his handgun. Slowly drawing it, he glanced at Hikari. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open.

He quickly pointed the gun at Touji's face and switched the safety off.

_I'm sorry_

He begins to clench his index finger but instantly stops as Hikari jumps in his line of fire.

"What are you doing! Are you crazy!" Hikari screams at him.

"He'll become a zombie! You know that! Would you rather have him die peacefully or suffer as the undead!" He retorted trying to get a clear shot at Touji's head.

"No! Please! Don't shoot!" Hikari moved in the way repeatedly, stopping Shinji from taking a shot.

"God damn it! Move!"

"Please… I.. I love him!" Hikari shouted, her eyes clenched shut.

Shinji stared at her for a moment, then lowered his gun. He sighed and watched Hikari relax on the body of her love.

"Thank you Shi—"

Her voice was muffled by a hand and her face became one of horror. Touji's face appeared from behind her neck and his bloodshot eyes stared at her flesh. Shinji instantly snapped the gun back to its target and tried to get a clear shot.

Touji thrust his head forward and sunk his teeth into the soft flesh on Hikari's neck. He then pulled back, a chunk of meat hung from his teeth. Blood gushed from her neck as Hikari frantically waved her hands around. Agony etched her face and her eyes rolled back in their sockets revealing pure white. Shinji stood still, frozen in place by terror. Shinji tried to pull the trigger but he couldn't. He couldn't shoot at his best friend.

Regardless of all his talk about stopping Touji from the torture of reanimation, Shinji could not fire upon his best friend.

Touji snapped his head to face Shinji, bloodshot eyes glaring in his own. His face looked happy, the same face that he had spent so many years with in school. The face of his first, and his best, friend.

The face suddenly twisted into a demonic shape. His bloodstained teeth shining in the moonlight.

A gunshot.

Followed by another.

The ear-splitting noise resonated in the night and Shinji fell to his knees.

He could not bring himself to look at the sight before him and crawled towards the edge of the roof. He stared into the night, trying to forget the past events. Tears streaked down his face but no noise escaped his lips.

Suddenly, the sky lit up with a barrage of glimmering multicoloured lights.

_Fireworks? What the hell?_

The fireworks exploded one by one in the sky and Shinji noticed the trails led down to a location he was all too familiar with.

_Why are they coming from NERV?_

Below him, the mass of undead stared at the lights in awe. Then, one by one, they began to trudge towards the light source.

_The zombies… They're leaving!_

* * *

Thanks for reading, and sorry to those who wanted Hikari and Touji to stay alive. I originally planned to keep her alive but as I was writing, I realized it would be much more poetic and meaningful if they died in each others arms. 

Peace

-Fatal


	3. Hunger

Thanks for all your reviews!

This chapter was proofread by Xatar

- Hunger -

* * *

The horde of undead trudged into the dark jungle of metal and their eerie moans faded into the night. The sky lit up once more in a shower of lights as Shinji slumped to his knees – grasping his abdomen with both hands and his face creased with pain. A loud hiss escaped his lips and a growl escaped into the night. 

"Dear god… I'm so… hungry…"

The young boy had been staring at the zombies gradually depart the clothing stores vicinity and his stomach had suddenly begun to ache as though it was being devoured from the inside out. He wheezed in pain and leaned against the railing. White flashes encompassed his vision, and the throbbing pain spread from his stomach to the rest of his body. He clenched his eyes and drowned himself in the darkness.

* * *

_A young boy sat in a dark corner under a lonely stone bridge – the occasional rustle of a car rushed along the pavement above. A wet mist drifted through the night air causing him to shiver and pull his light windbreaker closer to his slim body. A small shadow scurried along the floor in front of him and disappeared into a hole in the wall. A dog barked in the distance._

_He was alone. He was scared. He hung onto life by the stray hope of rescue by anyone who noticed the shivering boy in the dark of the night. He had been abandoned and left to fend for himself by an indifferent father who couldn't care less if he lived or died._

_His small hands clenched as a light drop of water bounced of his jacket. He pulled the zipper up to his chin, covering as much of his fragile body from the bitter cold as possible. He opened his hands and caught a few drops in his palm. Warily bringing his hands to his face, he cupped them to his chapped lips and let the cool water slide its way down his dry throat._

_A low growl sounded to his right, by the brown remains of a dead bush. He turned his head toward the sound and dread filled his body. He crept away from the sound and his eyes darted from the bush to a flight of stairs leading to the sidewalk right behind him._

_A head slowly emerged from the bush - its bloody teeth gleaming from the moon's light and foam emerging from the edges of its mouth - followed by a body and tail. The large dog eyed the adolescent; hunger evident in its shallow eyes. _

_The boy gasped as it leapt towards him and slammed into his chest, thrusting him onto his back. It howled in barbaric rage as the boy protected his face with his flimsy arms._

"_Someone help me!" He shouted, his feeble voice echoed through the night._

_The dog clawed at him with its paws and snapped its mouth on his arm. He shrieked and tried to pry the beasts jaws open. _

"_Help!"_

_Blood poured from his wound but the dog only bit harder, fusing his teeth on his scrawny arm. His other arm flailed wildly at his side, softly smacking the beast above him in futile attempts to free himself._

'_What are you doing?'_

_He grimaced as pain shook his body._

"_Please! Help me!" He shouted, ignoring the voice._

'_What are you doing?'_

"_I...It hurts! Get it off me!"_

_The dog began to shake its head, further mangling his already damaged arm._

'_Only you can help yourself. Use your own strength.'_

_The boy whimpered, tears poured from his eyes and mixed with the rain that softly pattered on his face._

'_Trust yourself, and only yourself.'_

_The dog's hot breath washed over his face._

'_You want revenge don't you? You want to hurt the world for hurting you don't you?'_

_He trembled as another jolt of pain ripped through his body._

'_Take this opportunity - this opening – and force yourself into the open. Show the world that you can't be fucked with! Show the world that nothing can stop you! Tell to the world to bring it on!'_

_He forced his eyes open, and gazed at a single rock that lay just a few inches beside him, its surface glimmering in the moonlight._

'_Do what you must! Do what you were born to do! Fight Shinji Ikari! Fight!"_

_With a shout, the boy reached out and grasped the hard stone, and brought it down on the dogs head. The animal flew to its side and crashed on the floor. The boy stood, blood leaking down his arm and forming a small puddle on the floor. He stepped closer, rearing his hand back, and thrust it forward. A loud crack resonated and blood flew onto the floor._

_He hit it, the animal. Again, and again, his arm moved by himself and his eyes gleamed with fury. Hit after hit, the beast was slowly reduced to a mangled mess of flesh and bones. The rock was covered with glimmering red blood and chunks of meat. _

_It no longer moved. The boy continued his pounding on the corpse, tears wetting his face. The beast's fur was soaked with blood and rain - its flesh exposed to the cool air. _

_The boy's stomach grumbled. He stopped beating the battered carcass and wiped the sweat of his forehead. He leaned forward, bringing his face to a glimmering chunk of meat which hung from an opening in the beast's skin. The smell of blood washed over his face, and his nose twitched at the sensation. His stomach growled again._

_An animal instinct awakened deep within his mind and he tentatively licked the exposed flesh. It was delicious. The hunger that throbbed in his stomach became more intense to the point where it overpowered all other sensations. _

_He reached his undamaged arm into the carcass and felt the flesh bend under pressure. He pulled on the meat and it stretched out of the corpse. He observed the meat for a moment, and then brought it to his lips. He took a bite and smiled as the flesh slid down his throat._

_He was hungry. That is all he knew. The only way to be rid of that hunger was to eat, so that is what he was doing. He was eating, though he did not want to. But it was so delicious – the meat, the blood, and the guts that resided within the corpse. So he ate._

'_Are you full?'_

_His eyes snapped open and he stared at the half eaten corpse in front of him. Then his gaze fell upon his blood soaked hands. His mouth opened in a silent scream and he fell on his backside. He crawled back to the stone wall behind him and leaned against it. He rest his head in his hands and began to cry for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day._

'_Congratulations. Today is the day you became a man. No, today is the day you became an animal.'_

_The boy screamed._

* * *

Shinji suddenly awoke, his body covered with sweat. His stomach still throbbed from hunger but it was less pronounced now. It was just a distant hammering in his abdomen every now and then. He rolled onto his stomach and got on all fours. A lump crept up his throat out his mouth and onto the floor, leaving a burning sensation in his mouth. He wiped his lips with his sleeves and got onto his feet. He sighed and looked to his left. The sun was gradually rising from its rest – its bright rays burst over the horizon, throwing an orange shade on the thick clouds above. 

With a sigh he tentatively brought his gaze to the two figures that lay in each others arm in front of him. Just a few more steps and he would see their faces. The faces of his friends. The faces of the dead.

"Toji… Hikari… I'm so sorry." A tear drop trickled off his chin and fell to the floor

He closed in on the corpses and fell to his knees. His tears seeped out of his eyes freely now - he could not hold them in any longer.

"I...I could not help you. I could not save you. Please… Forgive me. Wake up and forgive me!" He grasped their hands in his own and squeezed tightly.

"I promise! If you wake up I will protect you! You won't get hurt again!" Their vacant faces stared back at him with cold eyes devoid of life. Their blood caked bodies made no response to his pleas.

He continued to sob; his tears wet the dried blood at his knees. His body shuddered and his stomach began to ache again. He looked up at the sky and watched the clouds slowly drift onward. Rabbits, flowers, hearts… they were all joyful images that one could see in the abstract shapes of clouds, but all Shinji could see was death. Horrific images from the depths of hell clouded his mind as he reminisced on the past few days.

With a sigh, Shinji stood and placed his hands in his pockets. His fingers fumbled with loose change and the buttons on his SDAT player. Shinji pulled his hands out of his pockets, and revealed a crumpled piece of paper. He tentatively spread it out and stared at its contents. It was a picture of him, Asuka, Hikari, and Toji. Kensuke had been taking the picture and Rei politely refused their offer to join in. They were smiling in the picture and their fingers formed peace signs.

He smiled at the memory and returned his gaze to his dead friends.

"I have no use for this anymore… Not on this battlefield. I leave this here as a commemoration of our friendship and our life before this. Goodbye… my friends. Rest in peace, and together."

He placed the picture next to their bodies and slid his hands over their eyes, closing them. Shinji sighed, and began towards the door. He opened it and climbed down the dark stairway. He placed his ear to the next door and listened.

Silence.

He carefully pushed the door open and grimaced as a series of creaks announced his presence. Fortunately, there was no response. He crept through the store; sunlight streamed through the windows and illuminated the clothes. Dust drifted through the air and irritated his nose. He sneezed into his hand and wiped it on a nearby blouse in disgust.

The entrance to the store lay just ahead of him. The electronically powered door hissed open, patiently waiting for him to make his move.

The sun shone on his body through the opening, blinding him for an instant. The view was perfect - the beautiful sunrise, the glimmering skyscrapers, and the sound of birds chirping overhead.

His stomach growled.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Comments are appreciated. 

- Fatal


	4. Ode to Joy

A/N – Sorry for the HUGE delay! But I present to you, chapter four!

I would like to give big thanks to both KAZEONI and SEG-CISR, for without them, I may have lost interest in this story.

-- Ode to Joy --

* * *

A gust of wind blew across the road, whispering its secrets to the gravel. Heat radiated from the pavement, blurring the distant landscape. Glass lay shattered along the floor, threatening to puncture exposed skin. Birds chirped their songs in the sky above and danced with their mates. A single bean can clattered along the street, propelled by the mournful kick of a lonely child.

Shinji sighed and watched the can – the contents of which he had just devoured - come to a rest. The horrendous images of death from the past few days played through his mind. He grit his teeth and repeatedly clenched his hand into a fist - a childhood habit that he had never outgrown and one that he resorted to at times of extreme stress. A tempest of emotions swirled through his mind, pushing him to the brink of insanity.

He screamed and smashed the can with a powerful kick; sending it flying a few metres away and watching it collide with another metal object. Upon closer inspection, Shinji realized that the metal object was the frame of a battered shopping cart. Inside the cart was a fairly large object with two antennas sticking out of it. He cautiously proceeded towards the cart and the sound of static entered his ears.

"Huh? What's a television doing in a shopping cart?" Shinji questioned, puzzled at his revelation.

He ran his hand along the buttons on its side, and examined the writing underneath them. Power, volume control, and channel change were just a few of the options he could choose from the control interface. A thin wire crept from the back of the television to a small battery box beside it.

He began to flip through the channels but was greeted with static on every one. He gave the plastic box a smack but got not response. Frustrated, he began to fumble with its antennae's. The static began to fade into a clear picture, and, to his horror, the only sounds that were emitted from the small speakers were bloodcurdling screams. The image was blurry and blood was splattered on the screen. Shinji shuddered as a single voice broke through the chaotic noise.

"…I repeat! I am trapped in the broadcasting station! They're everywhere!"

A loud bang sounded and the bloody screen was replaced by static. Shinji shuddered and switched the television off.

_What's this world become? Jesus…_

Shinji took a quick glance at his watch and took note of the time. It was half past three. Just a week ago he would be on his way home from school, trudging behind an angry Asuka. A week ago, his friends… his family would be alive. A week ago…

_If only it was a week ago, before any of this happened. If only I could spend a few minutes feeling safe, and away from this god awful existence called life._

Shinji stared at the bright blue sky. It seemed so peaceful next to its hell-ridden neighbour. He looked down to his destination, NERV.

"They better still be alive…"

* * *

He had been monotonously walking for about five minutes now, trudging through the streets under the luminous glow of the afternoon sun. The smell of death was still prevalent around him, but he no longer acknowledged it. It wasn't too strong. He no longer acknowledged the dead bodies laying just feet away from him. All he focused on now was to reach NERV. It was the last stronghold in the city, and possibly all of Japan. If there was one place that was prepared for anything, it was bound to be the headstrong NERV staff.

_Misato and Asuka are there. Hopefully…_

A sudden gunshot sounded and Shinji snapped to attention. He took in his surroundings and realized he had taken a wrong turn.

_Where am I? I don't think I've ever been here before._

The sun had begun to set, casting streams of colours over the horizon. Shadows danced in the corners, beckoning him to join them in their endless ballet. The moans of the undead had become more prominent now, and their stench was no longer bearable. It was everywhere. He could no longer rely on the sounds of their screams or their horrid smell to determine their location. Only sheer luck had strayed him away from any danger so far.

"Left or right?" He announced his dilemma. He had reached a fork in the road and had absolutely no idea which way to go. He reached into his pocket, and took out a quarter. With a quick flick of his finger, he launched the coin in the air and caught it in his hand as gravity did its job.

"Heads."

He buried his hands in his pockets and strolled onto the left path.

_I hope lady luck's still with me._

* * *

Shinji gazed up at the colossal building in his path. A glowing blue "H" graced the top of the architecture, like a watchtower guiding lost ships through the endless dark ocean. It was beckoning him, begging him to accept its cold embrace. Soft weeping emanated through its corridors and crawled into Shinji's ears. His hair stood on end.

"It's a girl… She's crying. She must be hurt!" He felt something. A throbbing presence in his chest. It slowly slithered through his body, reaching the rim of his existence, pushing him to do what must be done. His mind was frozen, but his limbs moved. He wanted to just leave this world behind, and forget about this terrible existence, but his body kept going. It kept pushing, never giving in.

His arms pushed the door open and his legs walked into the dark hallway. His legs took him to the centre of the room, and the crying slowly grew louder. The door slammed closed behind him, but his body remained still.

_No! Go! Come on! MOVE!_

He was shaking now and the cries had begun to pierce his ears, throbbing against his eardrums. They had become a shrill siren, getting louder as every second went by.

Then it all stopped. The crying. The pain. His legs buckled, and he fell to his knees, tears pouring out of his eyes.

A bright light suddenly enveloped the room, blinding him momentarily. He opened his eyes and discovered he was in a plain white room. A single chair stood in the centre beckoning him to come closer. He took a seat, letting out a sigh as he eased into the uncomfortable wooden chair.

A laugh sounded behind him and he snapped his head towards the noise. An ancient music player lay on the floor beside him; the same on Asuka had tormented him about since he had met her. His beloved SDAT stared at him, its surface shimmering in the soft luminescence as though it would shatter under the slightest force. He scooped the device into his hands, and studied its surface. It was like new, the worn down buttons and scratched screen no longer existed, but he knew it was his. He could feel the bond he had created with it long ago, and the comfort it brought him surface once again.

Shinji pressed the SDAT against his chest and wiped the moisture from his eyes. The sound of crying once again emerged and caught his attention. Following the sound of the voice, he looked down at his metallic friend. The tape whirred as a soft humming softly drifted out of its speakers, and a soft smile crossed Shinji's face.

"Ode to Joy…" He began to warily whisper the lyrics to his much-loved song.

"_Joy, beautiful spark of the gods_

_Daughter of__Elysium_

_We enter fire-imbibed_

_Heavenly, thy sanctuary_

_Thy magic reunites those_

_Whom__ stern custom has parted_

_All men will become brothers_

_Under thy gentle wing_

_Be embraced, you millions!_

_This kiss for the entire world!_

_Brothers, above the starry canopy_

_Must a loving Father reside._

_Whoever has the great fortune,_

_To be a friend's friend,_

_Whoever wins the love of a lovely woman,_

_Add his jubilation to ours!_

_Yes, anyone also who has a soul_

_To call his own on this earth!_

_And anyone never able to must steal,_

_Sobbing, himself from this group!_

_Chorus_

_Those who occupy the great circle,_

_Pay homage to sympathy!_

_It leads to the stars_

_Where the unknown is enthroned_

_Joy, all creatures drink_

_At the bosoms of nature,_

_All good, all evil_

_Follow your trail of roses._

_Kisses she gives us, and wine,_

_A friend, proven in death._

_Pleasure was given to the worm,_

_And __the cherub__ stands before God._

_Be embraced, you millions!_

_This kiss for the entire world!_

_Brothers, above the starry canopy_

_Must a loving Father reside._

_Do you fall before him, you millions?_

_Do you sense the Creator, world?_

_Seek him above the starry canopy,_

_Above the stars he must live._

_Joy is called the strong spring_

_In the perpetuity of nature._

_Joy, joy drives the wheels_

_In the earth's great clock._

_Flowers, she calls from the buds,_

_Suns, out of the firmament,_

_Spheres, she rolls through space_

_That the seer cannot know_

_Be embraced, you millions!_

_This kiss for the entire world!_

_Brothers, above the starry canopy_

_Must a loving Father reside._

_Happy, as his suns fly_

_Through the heavens' magnificent plan_

_Run, brothers, your race_

_Joyful, as a hero to victory._

_As truth's fiery reflection_

_Smiles at the explorer,_

_To virtue's steep hill_

_She guides the silent sufferers' path._

_On faith's sunlit summit_

_One sees her banners in the wind,_

_Through the cracks of burst coffins_

_They are seen in the chorus of angels._

_Be embraced, you millions!_

_This kiss for the entire world!_

_Brothers, above the starry canopy_

_Must a loving Father reside._

_Endure courageously, you millions!_

_Endure for the better world!_

_Over the starry canopy_

_A good God will reward you!_

_Gods one cannot repay_

_Beautiful it is, to be like them._

_Grief and poverty, acquaint yourselves_

_With the joyful ones rejoice._

_Anger and revenge be forgotten,_

_Our deadly enemy be forgiven,_

_No tears shall he shed_

_No remorse shall gnaw at him_

_Be embraced, you millions!_

_This kiss for the entire world!_

_Brothers, above the starry canopy_

_Must a loving Father reside._

_Our debt registers be abolished_

_Reconcile the entire world!_

_Brothers, over the starry canopy_

_God judges, as we judged._

_Joy bubbles in the cup,_

_In the grape's golden blood_

_Cannibals drink gentleness_

_The fearful, courage --_

_Brothers, fly from your perches,_

_When the full cup is passed,_

_Let the foam spray to the heavens_

_This glass to the good spirit_

_Be embraced, you millions!_

_This kiss for the entire world!_

_Brothers, above the starry canopy_

_Must a loving Father reside._

_He whom __the spirals of stars praise,_

_He whom the seraphim's hymn__ glorifies,_

_This glass to the good spirit_

_Above the starry canopy!_

_Courage firm in great suffering,_

_Help there, where innocence weeps,_

_Eternally sworn oaths,_

_Truth towards friend and foe,_

_Mens' pride before kings' thrones --_

_Brothers, even if it costs property and blood, --_

_The crowns to those who earn them,_

_Defeat to the lying brood!_

_Be embraced, you millions!_

_This kiss for the entire world!_

_Brothers, above the starry canopy_

_Must a loving Father reside._

_Close the holy circle tighter,_

_Swear by this golden vine:_

_Remain true to the vows,_

_Swear by the judge above the stars!_

_Escape the tyrants' chains,_

_Generosity also to the villain,_

_Hope upon the deathbeds,_

_Mercy from the high court!_

_Also, the dead shall live!_

_Brothers, drink and chime in,_

_All sinners shall be forgiven,_

_And hell shall be no more._

_Be embraced, you millions!_

_This kiss for the entire world!_

_Brothers, above the starry canopy_

_Must a loving Father reside._

_A serene departing hour!_

_Sweet sleep in the shroud!_

_Brothers—a mild sentence_

_From the final judge!"_

As the final verse ended, Shinji released his tears, allowing himself much needed relief of built up tension.

"Why are you crying?" A gentle female voice asked.

Shinji looked up and to his surprise, was greeted with the sight of a perfectly healthy Hikari.

"Yeah! You have no right to cry! You could not even save us. We are the ones who should be crying!" Toji emerged from the shadows and took Hikari's side.

"I... I'm sorry! I tried my best!"

"Well sorry to tell you this Shinji… but your best just wasn't enough… I guess you really are useless." Shinji shuddered under the immense impact of those words. The words, coming from the kind and gentle Hikari, crushed him; pushing him further into madness.

"I..." He futilely attempted to support himself, but was cut off by an unsympathetic snicker.

"You what? You're useless? I know! Hah! I can't believe I started to _like_ you!"

"Asuka… You liked me?"

The fiery redhead shoved him roughly sending him - and the chair he was sitting on - tumbling over.

"Just barely… Sort of how a master likes her slave. But now, you're like garbage to me, just something I can throw away when I'm done with it."

The words cut through him like daggers, ripping his heart into little pieces. He cried dry tears and didn't even bother rubbing his head where it had smashed into the ground.

"You're useless." Shinji opened his eyes and gasped at the sight.

"Misato! Not you too!"

"You're useless." He needn't even look behind him to feel his father's cold glare bore holes into the back of his head.

"You're useless." Rei.

"You're useless." Kaji.

"Wark Wark." Pen Pen.

Shinji clenched his eyes shut and covered his ears, fruitlessly attempting to block out the horrid chanting.

"You're useless. _You're useless._ **You're useless.** _**You're useless.**_ _**YOU'RE USELESS.**_"

"Time to end it."

The kind motherly voice emerged through the terrible hymn and forced his eyes open. The outline of a women's face stared at him, but regardless how much he squinted, he could not see any of her features. The face suddenly morphed into that of a monstrous demon; it's giant fangs easily larger than his arm.

With a terrifying bellow, his friends and family lunged onto him, and began to devour his body. Bite by bite, the monsters slowly ripped his body apart, splashing blood everywhere. His entrails where pulled out of his body as he stared in horror at the scene, his mouth wide open in a silent scream.

As the pain became too intense to comprehend, the corners of his conscience darkened and his eyes closed thanks to an unknown force.

* * *

"_Mama… Mama? Mama!" A lone boy called for his love in the dark and lonely night. Flashes of light from passing cars lit his vision as did the eerie glow of the midnight moon. Wind howled through the streets and the child's thin jacket flapped in the wind. Tree branches stretched over the boy, like the hands of death himself. An owl hooted in the forest next to the street he was trudging through and his stomach responded with a hungry growl._

"_I'm hungry… I'm so hungry… Daddy… Mommy… Help me!" He desperately clung to the belief that his parents would come and rescue him, the same parents who cold-heartedly abandoned him; one through death, and the other through hate._

_He fell to his knees, unable to continue. The pain in his abdomen was too much to bear, especially for a child his age. He searched frantically for a source of food, grabbing anything that fit his tiny hands and shoving it into his mouth. Dirt, grass, insects, even a rock or two, but nothing filled him. It only provoked his stomach, causing the throbbing to increase drastically._

"_Ahhh… My tummy…" Tears pouring out of his eyes he pushed for one last attempt at finding nourishment. Crawling to his knees, he pressed onwards, the grass in his mouth sustaining him momentarily. _

_A brisk gust of wind swished past him, and a scent traveled into his nose. In an instant he snapped his head upwards and jumped to his feet._

"_Meat!" The boy rushed towards the source of the smell, his scrawny feet pounding against the shrubbery. The scent was stronger, but as he got closer, it felt different. It wasn't like the meat his mother used to cook, it was more like the meat from the rabbits his dad would catch and leave on the table until dinner. It was the smell of death._

_He tripped on something and fell onto a soft, wet surface. He stumbled onto his knees and tried to locate what caused his fall. The smell was astoundingly powerful now; it filled his nostrils and clogged his senses. He reached up with one hand and plugged his nose, and brought his other hand forward. Soft matter greet him and he squeezed, causing more wet liquid to pour all over his small body. A car sped by, its light momentarily lighting the dark night and revealing the object he was groping. _

"_Bambi?" He shuddered as he realized his hand were inside the intestines of a dead deer. Snapping his hand backwards, he rubbed it frantically on his pants, trying to rid his hands of the blood. _

_His stomach grumbled._

_The intensity of his hunger was now incomprehensible. His body shook with the sheer force of the pain and he was forced onto his face. With teary eyes, he glanced back at the corpse. Guilt seeped into his conscience but he could not rip his eyes of the prize. With a gulp, he tore a chunk of flesh off the deer using a sharp rock. Carefully, hands shaking, the boy placed the meat on his tongue. It taste awful, but he did not care, the pain was slowly going away. In repulsion, he chewed the disgusting treasure and swallowed it with a gulp._

_His stomach turned, his eyes rolled backwards, and a torrent of burning vomit escaped his lips. As a haze crept into his vision, his last view was the outline of a man's face._

* * *

Shinji shot up - drenched in sweat - and crashed his head into a hard metal bar, causing him to fall back onto his back. Rubbing his forehead, he stared at a pale white roof staring back at him.

"Unfamiliar ceiling."

He rolled onto his side and attempted to determine his whereabouts. Two seats where positioned in front of him in addition to a broken down steering wheel help together by bits of tape.

A puzzled look crossed Shinji's face as he thought out loud, "How the hell did I get in a van?"

"Easy," A deep voice startled him, causing him to jump in his seat, "I found you fainted outside Tokyo-3 Hospital and threw you in my van."

"Kaji! You're alive!" Shinji shouted in joy. Finally, a good episode in a series of disasters. He needed this, not just for the company, but as hope. Hope that he was not the only one left, hope of safety, hope of life.

"I am, but you won't be if you don't eat. You look starved! Here have a Mars Bar." Shinji's mentor and friend handed a bar to him and Shinji grabbed it in hunger, giving Kaji a grateful smile.

"Thanks!"

They sat in silence for the next few minutes; an unspoken conversation took place the two, the memories of the past few horrid days playing through their minds. The soft patter of rain sounded from the van's roof, playing a soothing melody in the background.

"So… What do you plan to do now?" The question was on both their minds, who asked it didn't matter.

Another minute passed by before another voice broke the precipitation's hymn, "Well, I plan to make my way to the Geofront. I heard them calling for survivors on the radio."

"Me too! I'm trying to meet up with Asuka and Misato. I..." A loud bang interrupted his speech and shook the car on its wheels, causing the younger of the two to fall over. Loud rhythmic pounding sounded on the roof of the van and made their way to the front of the car as Kaji grabbed a pistol from his glove compartment.

Silence. Shinji's heart hammered in his chest and his breaths escaped in short shallow gasps.

Without warning, the front windshield broke into a million pieces sending shards of glass flying throughout the car. Bullet shots fired, ear-splitting bangs momentarily deafening him.

As the chaos died down, Shinji slowly opened his eyes and glanced at Kaji. His eyes where clenched shut, his hands shaking, the look of desperation clearly visible on his face, but in an instant it was gone. He was back to the cool and clear-minded man he was used to.

"What the hell was that?" Shinji questioned.

"Let's find out."

Kaji led him outside and turned to the front of the van. They where greeted with a gruesome sight of blood glass and flesh. But the most prominent quality was a sky blue mop of hair.

"Rei?"

* * *

"Keep your hopes high, for in times of despair, hope is all you have."

- Fatal


	5. Who are You?

Chapter Five – Who are you?

* * *

The world was darker than night. Not a light lit his vision. A voice spoke to him, its short raspy breaths washing over his face. 

"The last days of life hold a total acquiescence, certain humbleness. The articulate thrusting of philosophic beliefs on the young social prisoners of today has robbed them of their passion - their drive. No longer do they dream of the mysterious wilderness beyond realities walls. No longer do they truly live. They will breathe integers and paragraphs, the siren song of the lucid dream is one composed with the opinions of the Descartes in mind, body and soul. Have fear of this because history repeats itself. Oh no."

Another voice, one of a woman, crept into his free ear.

"Oh yes. Satan himself is not as conniving - as cruel – as his "prey". We, the oh so great have worked so hard, yet done so little of any importance. The earth on which we live can support this chaos for little longer. The time will come - the time to end this madness. And our ungrateful parasitic leeching will be revenged – destroyed until its ashes no longer remain. The monster is lurking – waiting. He lingers in the darkness, taking the shape of our dreams. We fear him, the unknown creature always staring into our mind from the shadows. Our heart tells us what our mind cannot comprehend, yet the fear clouding our senses can only darken this abyss."

"Those with tongues of fire, those who weep and those with awkward social graces are practitioners of poison. Here come the angels to make everything bright again. Jesus, that's a pretty face. A face with a thousand features, leaking artificial messages to the vulnerable. Help us, oh God! For we cannot help ourselves."

"The aftermath of it all bleeds decay. We don't fear the reaper because he's only newspaper tragedy. We become what we fear when we realize we have become what we feared. The fear goes unrecognized, hidden in our sub consciousness, eating at our thoughts. We look in the mirror yet do not see ourselves - our monster. Only when we can see ourselves as we truly are can we be at peace and revel in our monstrosity. Only then can we dwell in the parasitic hunger ravaging our surroundings. Only then can we comprehend the speed at which our surroundings crumble under our fingertips. Only then."

"Now it has ended."

"Now it can begin."

A barrage of freezing liquid splashed onto his face and into his nose - choking him – and a bright light suddenly encompassed his vision.

* * *

"Damn boy, you get sick pretty easily!" Kaji commented with his ever present grim. 

"Well maybe if **somebody **didn't throw a bucket of freezing water on me, I may be able to complete a sentence without having to sneeze!" Shinji retorted between a flurry of sneezes.

Kaji laughed, his voice reverberated off the surrounding walls and slowly faded into an eternal silence. Nothing more could be said and neither were willing to discuss the fate of a certain blue-haired girl.

Shinji readjusted his backpack harness, took a small sip from a water bottle scavenged from the remains of their recently broken down van, and stuck his hands in his pockets. A crow fluttered away as they walked by, stray feathers drifting to the ground. They were heading towards the last likely structure of salvation in this godforsaken town – NERV.

Shinji closed his eyes, releasing a tired sigh. _Is this the end? War, nature, and even Angels have been overcome by us humans but why not the undead?_

"It's our fear." Kaji proclaimed as if reading his mind.

Shinji turned to the older man, giving him a questioning look and noticed a wide smile across Kaji's face, almost as though the man had experienced an epiphany, "What do you mean?"

Kaji chuckled, slowing his pace until they stopped; he glanced at Shinji and sighed, looking at the ground dejectedly.

"Think back to before all this, before the dead reanimated. You would turn on your TV and what would you see? People promoting their products? Not a chance. You saw people selling the _fear_ of having to live without their products. Fear is the greatest commodity in the universe it's what made our economy go round. Fear of aging, fear of loneliness, fear of death. Fear is in our blood, it is basic human nature, and it is what has brought us this far. But when facing an enemy without pain, without emotions, without fear, we are given a scenario where fear becomes our greatest weakness, and the lack of it becomes our enemies' greatest strength. Dear god. No wonder conventional warfare doesn't do shit." Kaji ran his hand through his hair stared at the grey sky for a moment, and then slowly opened his mouth, a breath of air escaping his lungs.

"Think about it Shinji, every technique, every strategy we have ever, and I mean **ever** deployed is rendered complete and utter nonsense against the deadliest enemy humanity has ever faced. Only one person can save us now, and I don't believe in him anymore."

Shinji stared at Kaji, slowly processing the information spewed by the man.

There was a long pause, a lapse in time when neither spoke nor moved. Both men just stood, analysing the gravity of their situation. Distant popping noises signalled a small gunfight far from their position yet neither showed any reaction.

"Then what should we do?" Shinji broke the silence stating the obvious question on both minds.

"Survive."

They stared into one another's eyes, smiles slowly gracing their faces. Smiles which turned into snickers, then chuckles, hearty laughs and then full out guffaws. Tears streamed down their faces as they held their sides. A full minute passed before the laughter trailed off, the unknown source of amusement apparently having escaped.

"Let's go. " Kaji stated as he began a casual stroll with Shinji following suit. If one looked close enough, they could see an enthusiastic bounce in their steps, almost as though a crushing weight had just been lifted off their shoulders.

* * *

Shinji couldn't sleep. The sky shone with the brightness of a thousand stars, a sight rarely seen by the recent inhabitants of Tokyo-3. Shinji stared at their marvel, their unparalleled beauty, and contemplated their existence. He contemplated Earth's existence, Humanity's existence and _their_ existence. 

Why? Because he could. Time, the essence of existence flowing into an ocean of thought no longer held meaning to him. All that was left was death, despair and survival instinct.

He looked to his right; Kaji lay on the hard concrete next to him with his eyes firmly shut. Shinji shakily stood, using his arm to keep balance, and stretched his arms. He walked to a nearby door, and checked it to make sure it was secure. Satisfied, Shinji took in his surroundings.

They were on a roof, high above the zombie threat a barricaded door preventing the lone ghoul from discovering their position. The sky was littered with stars, the reflection of the sun on satellites, and a beautiful full moon. The eerie silver shine accented the cities tall structures, giving it a seemingly magical glow.

Fireworks burst in the night sky, their fiery trails shimmering into nothingness. This had been a regular occurrence for the past few days; sometimes the night sky would light up with fireworks originating from the depths of the Geofront. Kaji had informed Shinji that the fireworks were probably substitutes for flare guns proving that NERV was still putting up a fight.

A nearby gunshot caught Shinji's attention and he looked in its direction. A frown crossed his features as he watched a single figure running from a large group of ghouls. The person was frantically sprinting throughout the city, like a hungry mouse in a crazed scientist's labyrinth.

"Right, left, left, right, No not that way!" Shinji grabbed the hand rails surrounding the roof and prepared to shout.

"Don't go that wmmgph!" A strong hand covered his mouth, cutting off his desperate screams.

"There's no use, he can't hear you." Shinji closed his eyes and relaxed in defeat, dry tears streaming down his face.

The stranger's distant screams slowly faded into silence, a deadly silence. The silence pulled him in, a massive pressure threatening to crush his very soul. Shinji could feel his consciousness escape him, and embraced the long awaited sleep.

* * *

They were close. Shinji could smell the gunpowder, the blood and the death. The number of living dead had been steadily increasing the closer they got to NERV and therefore, so was the number of living. 

A hazy pillar of smoke could be seen rising above their destination, probably from burning wood or some idiot throwing around Molotov cocktails. Didn't he know they did as much damage to the living as the dead?

Shinji began to ponder as to whether the fire was originating from NERV or just somewhere around it when a distant noise broke his train of thought.

"Do you hear that?" Kaji asked, scanning the surroundings for the source of the noise.

"Yeah... the barking right? I wonder... do dogs get infected?" Shinji asked the older man.

"To tell you the truth, I have absolutely no idea. It would be a first for me."

The barking grew louder and louder until it seemed to be right behind them, the soft padding of feet resonating off the surrounding buildings. They turned around and took in the terrifying sight.

A single dog, a Rottweiler, was trotting towards them. It seemed normal at first, but as it grew closer they noticed that it was covered in blood.

A soft grumbling could be heard from the mutt as it came nearer. Once they realized its intestines were trailing between its legs from a huge hole in its stomach, both Shinji and Kaji began to run.

Kaji grabbed his pistol and shot at the dog with shaky arms. Fear and the difficulty in aiming whilst sprinting caused all but one shot to miss. Unfortunately, that shot missed the dog's head by mere inches.

Kaji reached into his pocket and rummaged around for a bit, a look of horror slowly showing on his face.

"Damn! Shinji I'm out of ammo!"

They approached an intersection and took a left, the infected creature trailing behind them. Seconds pass by, but feel like eternities, all Shinji heard was his rough heavy breathing and his heart pounding in his chest.

The road ended in a three floor restaurant, the types that people would go to for a romantic dinner by the sunset. Shinji dropped to his knees, his thighs burned, and his chest felt like it would explode. He could hear someone shouting in the distance to get up, to keep moving, but he couldn't. He was finished.

He.

Who was he?

The dog jumped on top of him but Shinji managed to grab hold of its menacing jaws. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kaji trying to rip some wood out of a nearby fence. He felt distant.

_It's like a dream_

_**Oh it's not a dream boy.**_

Shinji snapped back to reality, the cold saliva dripping onto his face, the horrid stench of death, and the crazed dog on top of him became very real sensations.

_Who are you? How are you talking to me?_

The dog's deadly teeth inched closer to his face.

_**Who am I? Don't worry about that. My question is, who are you?**_

_What… who am I? What do you mean?_

_**It's a simple question. Who are you?**_

The Rottweiler's teeth were mere millimeters from his face, his hands shook with stress.

_**Who are you boy?**_

Its teeth barely grazed his skin.

_**Who are you?**_

Time froze. Shinji thought about that question. Who was he? An organic pile of meat and bones held together by simple chance? Was he just a figment of his or someone else's corrupt imagination? Why did he, of all people, have the name "Shinji Ikari"? Did he deserve it? Were his memories truly his? Was his triumph over unfathomable odds, his unbelievable hidden strength, shown only in the most desperate times, truly enough to define him? Was he the Third Child, the savior of the Earth, Commander Gendo's son, or was he Shinji Ikari?

Yes.

He was Shinji Ikari, if not to himself than at least to his friends. Toji, Kensuke, Hikari, Misato, Rei… Asuka. He was Shinji Ikari, and nothing could change that.

He was…

_I am…_

Shinji Ikari.

_"__**SHINJI IKARI!**__"_

He felt a burst of energy erupt from his very core, making its way through his body and into his arms. He wrapped his fingers around his assailant's neck and squeezed with all his might.

"I AM SHINJI IKARI!"

A loud crack indicated that the animal's neck had snapped. Shinji used one hand to hold the dog's bottom jaw, and the other to hold the top. Screaming, he ripped the dogs jaw out of its skull, a dark red liquid painted the pavement.

"I am Shinji Ikari." Shinji threw the dog to the street and stomped on its head. He smiled sinisterly as a loud crack sounded below his feet.

He turned to his left, and enjoyed the look of horror on Kaji's face. He leisurely walked forward, closing the distance between him and Kaji.

"I am Shinji Ikari."

Shinji wrapped his hands around Kaji's neck then gradually squeezed them together. His prey's mouth moved, but no words came out. His prey looked horrified.

"I am Shinji Ikari."

Shinji suddenly lost his strength and felt a sharp pain on the left side of his head. His knees buckled and he fell to the hard pavement. As darkness clouded his vision, Shinji caught a glimpse of a plank of wood falling next to a pair of weathered shoes.

_I am S__hinji Ikari_

_**Are you?**_

* * *

Omake: 

There was a long pause, a lapse in time when neither spoke nor moved. Both men just stood, analysing the gravity of their situation. Distant popping noises signalled a small gunfight far from their position yet neither showed any reaction.

"Then what should we do?" Shinji broke the silence stating the obvious question on both minds.

"Do a barrel roll."

* * *

Some of you might be thinking: What the heck? How and why did he suddenly go crazy? Well don't worry; it will all come into place as the story progresses. 

Thanks for reading and as always R&R

-Fatal


End file.
